She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
