I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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