didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
