Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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