Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
