Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
