idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dick very happy bro
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
