went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
