help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
