Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
