Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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