bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
