I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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