Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
