Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
