There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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