Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize