Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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