he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
this hospital has no fireball
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
