just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
