seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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