you traded sex for a burrito?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I didn't notice because vodka
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
