the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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