I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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