"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
