We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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