Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
