You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
