just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
