aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
