its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
