You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I touched a dick in church today
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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