No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
