I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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