is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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