Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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