I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
