So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
