were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
