I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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