It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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