I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
