direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize