I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize