its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
