don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
