i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
