I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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