You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
