I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she told me i tasted like america
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize