I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
