wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
