upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
