thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
