She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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