Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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