my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
