She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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