call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
